Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
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this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
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Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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