My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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