I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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