And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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