I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
