Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
