Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize