guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
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btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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