Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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