i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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