She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
