life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
