Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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