So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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