so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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