Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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