i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
