every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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