I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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