found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
