Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
