don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
