The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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