Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
