hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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