I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I puked a lego.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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