stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
