I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
