yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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