Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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