Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
