dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
