SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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