is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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