Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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