If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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