my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize