Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
