I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize