How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
