So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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