Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
