Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
