when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
