wanna go halves on a baby?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
