when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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