Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
