I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
