we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm bleeding and have questions
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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