just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
