she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Randomize
