Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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