her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
