Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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