u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm too high and old for this...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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