Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
